As Iris was saying earlier, it doesn’t have to be the act of intercourse as well. If you both wanna achieve orgasm, there are other ways besides intercourse. Actually, intercourse doesn’t work that often, for women anyway, straight intercourse.
Iris Zink, NP: I do suggest that people take a hot bath. But then that kind of wrecks your lubrication, you know, so you’ve gotta kinda weigh that all out. I know you’re stiff in the morning, but you do have more energy. And let’s, again, plan it. Let’s know that Tuesday morning from to , the kids are gonna be somewhere else, and that we’re… it’s gonna be on, notГcias right? So, we’re gonna be nice to each other Monday night. (laughing)
Using tools and toys are fabulous. ” We all use OXO products in the kitchen to make our lives easier. Why would we not use tools in the bedroom? And the problem with arthritis is: The longer you have arthritis, the more neuropathy you have, or the little nervous system dies because the circulation isn’t so great anymore. So, you might need a whole bunch more stimulation.
And when I’m giving this lecture dressed up as Wonder Woman, I’m always doing the whole thing like you’re (laughing), you’re in a chainsaw. Because you may need a lot of stimulation in order to have any hope of getting an orgasm for some women, because they’ve just lost so much sensation.
Same thing with men: A lot of sensation might’ve been lost because of spinal cord injury because of replacements, because of the medication that they’re on. And so, you’ve gotta look for a new avenue. But I think for me, lubrication is the most important tool that my patients are using. And then if they are open to any toys, swings, you know, any kind of apparatuses, the pillow, you know, watch “Meet the Fockers,” and watch Barbara Streisand (laughing) talk with her people about different positions and how that’s OK. It’s opening that conversation up.
There’s nothing wrong with seeing a sex therapist
Pete Scalia: Well, I mean, Iris, hey, I’ll just throw out there, too, because you mentioned dressing up like Wonder Woman, maybe that could work for some people, too (laughing). I’m just saying that, you know…
Rebecca Gillett: To go on your Wonder Woman theme, you might not feel like Wonder Woman because you feel like your partner is doing everything. And so, they take on that caregiver role. And where did the romance go? How do you strike that balance as a patient? Like, hey, you can stop taking care of me. I’m not gonna break, you know? How do you help patients navigate finding that balance?
One of the books that I love the most, Miriam Coughman wrote, and it’s “Intimacy for People With Chronic Illness
Victoria Ruffing, RN-BC: Well, I think again, it all boils down to communication. To really make sure that you understand your partner’s needs, what your needs are, and that your partner understands your needs. And sometimes, those things may require intervention from a professional. There’s nothing wrong with couples therapy. If you feel like you’re at an impasse, or you don’t feel that you can do it on your own, it would be OK to see somebody about those things.
Rebecca Gillett: Physical and occupational therapists can both help. I think everybody only thinks of us as OTs, as adapting things. Well, sex is an activity of daily living. It might not be daily. But it’s an instrumental activity of daily living, which means it’s something that we all need or want, and it’s just part of life. An OT and a PT can help you figure out how to adapt positions based on whatever your joint issues are. So, that aspect is another way of getting help, aside from counseling and therapy and that kind of thing.
